Dumb Luck
by Phoenixrin
Summary: Looking at the idiots that had somehow managed to grow physically without growing mentally, Nami and Sakura wondered exactly why they put up with their shit. It was pure dumb luck that they ended up with them anyway.
1. Damn you, Itachi

Me: Hi…So….. its… uh…me…

Inner Me: You are acting even lamer than usual…. Are you, by any chance… nervous?

Me: Uh.. yeah…?

Inner Me: *at a loss for words because I have never been nervous*

Me: (reasons) If I screw up this one, thousands of Naruto and One Piece fans will be coming after me.

Inner Me: You have a point. But its no use fretting over it now. Just get over it.

Disclaimer: Naruto and One Piece are not owned by me. It is owned by the two geniuses of the millennium.

Warnings: THIS IS A CROSSOVER! AND CRACK! I WILL TRY MYBEST BUT PLEASE DON'T SCREW ME IF I SCREW THIS UP! Okay I need to calm down.

And yeah, this is team 7 back when Sasuke was still with them and the Strawhats before the timeskip.

* * *

Sasuke leaned against the railing of the bridge they were currently standing on with his arms crossed over his chest. Some would think he was a wax statue for he had not moved an inch during the last hour and his face was schooled into a stoic blank expression that hardly ever slipped out of place.

Beside him Sakura was putting up a calm front but judging from the occasional cracking noise that came from the railing under her hands and the occasional vein that popped up on her temple, she was as aggravated as a certain wild, ramen-maniac.

Said usuratonkachi was prancing along the length of the bridge, back and forth, back and forth, muttering under his breath about stupid late bastards who had the nerve to boss them around when he himself was never on time, till the raven had had enough and told him to stay put. Which, of course, had the exactly opposite effect and resulted with the eternal rivals glaring daggers at each other, faces mere inches away. Before Sakura could warn them by mentioning a certain event, a cool voice cut in.

"Ah… things are always lively with you guys. It makes me feel young as well."

Naruto, breaking eye contact with Sasuke, whipped his head around at the same time as Sakura to see his sensei, with a copy of the newest edition of Icha Icha Paradise in one hand and the other raised up as a greeting, his only visible eye curved up as the only indication of the smile that was definitely underneath that mask.

"Yo!"

Immediately, with baffling synchronization, two fingers jutted out at him with an allegation – "You're late!"

Kakashi rubbed the back of his head and said in a somewhat apologetic tone, "Sorry, I'm afraid that I got lost-"

He was cut off by two similar cries of "You liar!"

Kakashi sighed. If only they would show this much teamwork while on missions… He cast a glance at Sasuke who had effectively hidden his mild amusement under an almost perfect mask. Little did Kakashi know that his habit of getting lost on the path of life would be compared to that of a certain marimo in another universe.

"Cut the crap and tell us about the mission already, Kakashi." Sasuke piped in. Always the curious one. He didn't even have it in himself to be annoyed by the lack of the honorific. Suddenly, he turned serious and Naruto and Sakura, upon noticing this, sobered up a bit.

"Before I tell you about the mission, I must tell you something more important. Akatsuki-" his gaze flickered between Naruto and Sasuke "- is on the move again. Therefore we must exercise extreme caution while going on missions outside the village."

Naruto scrunched up his nose at Kakashi's choice of words. If the looks of understanding on the other two's faces were anything to go by, they had all realized exactly _who_ was being referred to here. _Uchiha Itachi._ Sasuke almost sneered in disgust. The very thought of the man made bile rise up his throat.

Kakashi then cleared his throat and continued, "As for the mission, we have to look after-" one pointed look from Sakura had him reforming his sentence "babysit one of those well behaved shitty rich brats." Sasuke snorted and wondered exactly what kind of brat they were talking about here. And just like that, peace was reinforced by Hatake Kakashi, the king of porn after Jiraiya.

When they set out of the village, the sun was halfway towards the west and the forest was peaceful save for the soft crunch of leaves under their feet. Even the animals seemed to have resigned to their respective homes. The day was pleasant to say the least. And since it was so joyful and calm and perfectly _perfect,_ Kakashi was pretty damn sure that pretty soon, hell was gonna break loose. So other than the slight alarm and unhesitating ferocity in his stance, there was only a weary feeling when Itachi 'poofed' in front of them.

Naruto had been leading them, pumping his fists in the air at his imaginary opponent and so when this imaginary opponent suddenly turned into a very much solid Itachi who had really appeared out of the blue, Naruto let a out a very, very unmanly shriek as he jumped ten feet up in the air. Itachi regarded him with mild interest because the feat that he had just accomplished was quite remarkable, even for a ninja.

Behind Kakashi Sakura stood frozen and Sasuke made choking noises that were uncannily similar to that of a dying hyena.

"THE FUCK?! What the hell are you doing here Itachi?!" Naruto shrieked-accused looking at Itachi.

"My apologies, ninjas of Konoha, but I am neither authorized nor willing to tell you anything about my intentions." That was all they heard from Itachi before they saw the cool black of his eyes turn into the devilish blood red of the mangekyou sharingan.

And then they were spiraling down into deep oblivion.

* * *

It was dark.

And Sakura had a feeling that they were drifting on the sea. Strange, because they were near the outskirts of the forest that surrounded Konoha and any sea would be miles away. For some reason, the gentle rocking motion annoyed her.

"Na, Zoro, who are these people?" A finger jabbed into her side and her annoyance grew.

A thunk of a person being hit over the head. Followed by a whine and a cry of _don't disturb a lady's beauty sleep, rubber idiot!_

Sakura cracked open an eye to find a man with his blond hair hiding his left eye. Breaking all rules of biology, his only visible eye turned into a heart and his lips puckered out probably in an attempt to kiss her. Sakura being the calm and mature girl that she is did the only thing thinkable thing at the moment – punched the dude into oblivion and scooted away till her back hit a wall.

She assesed her surroundings. A grassy deck (what kind of ship had a grassy deck? Apparently, this one), a vast stretch of water as far as she could see and Naruto and Sasuke out cold and sprawled on the other side of the deck. They were dripping wet as we- WHERE THE HECK WAS KAKASHI-SENSEI?

As if reading her mind, she heard Kakashi's voice from a corner. "Ah, Sakura, you're awake. Glad to see you unharmed."

Sakura blinked owlishly. She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but another boy beat him to it.

"Oi Luffy! Check this guy out! He has _whisker_ marks on his face!"

She saw a boy wearing a straw hat dash, freakin _dash_ , towards the guy with a long nose who was leaning over Naruto.

She started panicking. Who _were_ these people? Why was Sensei acting so _normally_? Why were they _here_ in the first place?

* * *

Oooooohh... Cliff hanger... heh... not...

I have written so much about Naruto in this chappie 'cuz the last episode of the anime just aired and it has been a real long time since I last did anything Naruto-related.

So whaddya think? Great? Not so good? Bad? Bad enough that you wanna come over and permanently shut me up?

Well, whatever you think of it, please be kind enough to review!


	2. Coming to terms with the situation

Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry it took me so long!

* * *

 **She started panicking. Who** ** _were_** **these people? Why was Sensei acting so** ** _normally_** **? Why were they** ** _here_** **in the first place?**

She did not notice that she had stopped breathing till a brown, furry kid swam into her view. He was telling her to calm down but she was transfixed by his antlers...

Antlers...

...

...

...

...

...

"WHY THE HECK DO YOU HAVE ANTLERS AND FUR?"

He (it?) winced at her volume and asked her to calm down.

"I CAN'T CALM DOWN! WHO-"

"Shut the fuck up Sakura, you're annoying."

An imaginary arrow pierced her heart as a purple aura of gloom surrounded her. Somewhere in the background, Franky and Brooke were desperately trying to restrain a hysterical blonde who swore that he was gonna send Sasuke flying all the way to All Blue (or fillet his shitty ass into shit burgers).

* * *

"Soooo..." Sakura drawled as the explaination finally sank in. "You guys are pirates? As in the criminal type? People who steal from others?"

"Yeah!" came the overly enthusiastic reply from the kid with the straw hat. Honestly, this guy was almost as energetic, if not more, as Naruto. Sakura rubbed her temples. She could already feel the oncoming headache. She could barely put up with Naruto. Her eyes gazed over to a girl with orange hair. The same thought ran through their minds.

 _You've been through hell, haven't you?_

She looked over to Sasuke, only to find him leaning on the railing. It was as if he was more disturbed by the fact that he missed another chance to venture on a quest to avenging his clan than the fact that they were in the middle of nowhere. _Seriously?_

Elsewhere, Kakashi was talking to a skeleton all too familiarly. It seemed like Jiraiya's books had now one more fan. A while later, the blonde man walked up to them with a scowl on his face. Sakura was almost relieved that _finally,_ someone was going to beat some sense into these deadlas- wait, no- he's freakin _joining_ them?

"Enough questioning us." Said the kid with the straw hat in a tone that spelled out authority. This kid was definitely the captain. Maybe he really was sensible on the inside? "Tell us who you are."

Sakura felt some respect for the man in front of her but before she could answer-

"My name's Uzumaki Naruto, and I'm gonna be Hokage, dattebayo!"

"Oh yeah? And I'm Monkey D. Luffy, the man who is gonna be the Pirate King!"

A pause.

And all of a sudden they are leaning forward, fingers folded into fists with matching cries of that's so cool and sparks in their eyes. At a distance, Long nose and Furry were sporting similar expressions.

Sakura felt the last of her respect fade away along with her sanity.

"So, so, do you guys go on missions and stuff? Andprotect princes and stuff? And merge in with the surroundings and stuff? And-" Sakura tuned the starry-eyed captain out after that.

"Fufufu. Looks like it is going to become even more lively from now on."

Sakura whipped her head towards the left. Her eyes trailed up to a woman sitting in a chair- coffee in one hand and a book in another. She put them down on the table beside her in favor of beckoning Sakura. While walking up to her, Sakura's brain was running at the speed which could be compared to that of a certain man who was fast as lightning and talked slow as fuck. While she wasn't a kunoichi with skills to be reckoned with, she had fairly decent skills when it came to sensing. If she couldn't sense the woman who was right in front of her, she was _good_. She'd make an excellent ally ( _and a dangerous enemy_ her mind added).

"You seem to be tired." She said. "Care to have something to drink? He might be an idiot, but our ship's cook is in a league of his own." Sanji twirled round, materializing beside her, and profusely thanking her rushed off to make some snacks for her.

"It's a kind offer but I will decline." Sakura replied. She somehow felt obliged to remain polite with this woman. Her calm gaze unnerved her a bit. Fidgeting a bit, she asked "Is it always like this?"

Robin laughed in that little way that would entrap the hearts of men - that light, delicate and hearty laugh which she hardly laughed. Had Sanji been there, he would be definitely dying of blood loss.

"Yes. I take it that you would like to know about us?" When Sakura nodded furiously, she laughed once again. Sakura felt that iron clad grip of jealousy around her stomach. This woman was so attractive…

Meanwhile, Luffy was busy introducing Naruto to his crew.

"Ooh! Ooh! And and this is Zoro. He's super cool when he's not sleeping and- wake up Zoro – and that one with Robin is Sanji and ooh that is Robin – wake up Zoro – and Brook is playing the violin and that cool cyborg is my shipwright, Franky – WAKE UP ZORO – and this is Ussop and this is Chopper and Nami has gone to draw her maps and I really want you to meet her but Nami can be scary when we disturb her when she is drawing maps but I want you to meet her but she will be angry but I want you to meet her aaaaaahhhhhh dammitIcan'tdecide-"

"Luffy! Calm down!" Ussop interjected as soon as he saw the steam coming out of Luffy's ears. His face was becoming really red as well and Naruto briefly wondered if Luffy was gonna have a nosebleed to get rid of all the blood accumulating in his face. Out of the corner of his eye, Ussop noted that Sasuke was quite intrigued by Zoro's swords but something was stopping him from asking. Probably his bigass ego.

He was about to bring this to attention when a cry from Franky alerted them all.

"Incoming! Eleven Marine warships at 3 O'clock! Everyone prepare for a battle!"

* * *

So the marines attack 'em, huh? Those of you hoping for a hardcore battle, don't get your hopes high. I suck at describing battles (tbh I never have written one). Don't sue me in the next chappie, K?

It is proven that reviews encourage a writer to write faster. Thus, PLEASE REVIEW!


	3. The Shitty battle and- OH SHIT

Seriously, guys, I don't even have anything to say except for 'sorry for the delay?'. I dont even have an excuse. This chapter isnt even long.

Maybe writing fanfics isnt the best thing to do while you're still a student?

Meh, I'm known for my bad decisions.

So I've taken a pretty long vacation but I promise I'll go back to my regular weekly updates - even for BFoM

I actually planned this fic to be only 3 chs but lets see where this goes from here cuz I sure as hell dunno where.

Lol

So...uh...

Here...you go...?

* * *

 **"Incoming! Eleven Marine warships at 3 O'clock! Everyone prepare for battle!"**

"What do you mean, Franky?" asked Nami, who had come running when she heard about the Marines.

"Yeah! Yeah!" Luffy said, catapulting himself to the front. "We can just fly away!"

"I'm afraid we don't have enough cola for that, captain."

"Huh?" drawled a drowsy Zoro, who had woken up at the prospect of a battle. Seriously, battle and alcohol were the only things that excited him. He would live off booze if he could.

"Yosh! Fight! Fight!" Yapped Luffy as he glued himself to the mast in order to block attacks.

Sakura couldn't believe these people. How can someone be so relaxed when they are in danger of potential damage?

The impact of canon balls hitting the ocean surface shook the ship. Luckily, none of them hit the ship.

And as soon as Nami thought that, a few more came flying right towards them. They would definitely hit, but none of the Strawhats paid any attention to them. They were busy fighting off the Marines who had now boarded the ship. Sakura was about to launch herself to take care of the canon balls but within a split second, Luffy was up in the sky, bloated like a balloon and the canon balls bounced off him back to the direction from which they came. Some hit a few ships and Ussop cheered in the distance because that meant less opponents for them to deal with. Naruto squealed about how awesome that was and Sasuke looked stuck between impressed and freaked out. Sakura gaped. Kakashi, as always, remained neutral before saying, "Maybe we should join into the fun."

Sakura blanched. Clearly, her definition of 'fun' was worlds apart from that of her Sensei's. Then she looked at the looks of unmasked determination and rivalry to grow stronger that both of her teammates were sporting. Then she thought - _Fuck this shit._

And so, four not-so-normal ninjas joined into the battle, fighting alongside crazy bat-shit pirates. There were thirteen of them faced off against countless enemies.

Those poor Marines.

Naruto instantly produced about a hundred shadow clones and started fighting off the marines who tried to get close to the deck, sending many of them flying using 'Uzumaki Naruto Barrage'.

Luffy stopped his fighting to go all starry eyed and Nami face palmed. Who in their right mind would name a special attack after their own name? Scratch that, because Nami must be losing it if she had just questioned a ninja who was almost as brain dead as her own captain.

Sasuke jumped off the ship followed by Sakura and Sanji nearly had a heart attack because this was the _Grand Line_ , for Sora jima's sake, and no one could possibly-

But those two were _standing_ on the water and Sasuke did some weird hand dance and was suddenly spouting flames. The Marine ship caught on fire and the soldiers that were trying to shoot him down were taken out by Sakura's kunai and shuriken. It made Sanji swoon and he noodled around and the Marines avoided him like a plague because they had no idea if he was a retard or not. Or maybe because of his bounty. Or maybe because he kicked back canon balls like footballs. Whichever worked.

Kakashi, on the other hand, looked very much done with the entire situation as if he'd rather be reading Icha Icha Paradise right now. He trapped a few Marine soldiers in a genjutsu and lazily evaded attacks, making no move to defeat them.

Zoro rushed in with his eyes and katana blazing under the sun like demon incarnates while Chopper took out enemies, alternating between the human form and arm point.

Ussop climbed up the mast where he could get a better view and started taking out men that were out of the others' range. He whipped over his goggles when one of Nami's thunder bolts almost made him miss his shot.

Nami was doing quite well, she was covering a considerably large area and those who escaped her weather attacks suddenly found themselves disabled when a pair of disembodied limbs grew on them and snapped their necks. So it was pretty good untill something started to feel horribly wrong.

It was too late when she realized what was wrong. Her eyes slowly trailed towards the horizon staring horrified. She barely registered Ussop's shouts as he fumbled to cover for her.

"Oh god."

Because there at a distance, was a clump of black storm clouds that looked more like death than anything.

* * *

Umm yea?

Idk man. Just...

This fic doesnt really have much plot, does it?


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